ÁMEZING NEWS #27: The Lover's Guide to Extracting Blackheads
Plus the gals love gourmands!
Hi lovers! I hope February is off to a sweet start for you. That might sound weird to say, given how f*cked things are in this country right now, but please keep tending to yourself and your communities with love and sweetness.
Today we’re exploring a topic that’s as disgusting to some as it is delicious to others: squeezing your partners blackheads. Romantic, right?
My partner and I have been together for over a decade, and I was still in esthetics school during our first year of dating. I was learning how to do things like facial extractions and practicing on him constantly. He liked it. After all, I was trained and he was getting free facials. My partner has this one blackhead on his forehead that’s super deep but oxidizes every month or so. Naturally, I continue to tend to it ten years later.
Working on people’s blackheads is like my ecstasy. I will always love it. I love going into it knowing I’m going to remove everything I see. That alone will make their skin look 75 percent better. My goal when giving facials is for clients to walk out looking like they didn’t get any extractions at all, which requires some precision and alternative tricks that to do not involve traditional steam at all.
And trust me, while I totally get why people think it’s cute to extract a partner’s nose, I have to say: it’s always better to see a professional. Doing extractions on your significant other can often cause more harm than good.
Remember this: more picking, more problems ✅
But if you’re really eager to do so…blame it on an evolutionary urge to groom your mate, your own obsessive compulsion, or a little bit of kink, I can’t blame you. A good extraction is satisfaction at its best, a release, kind of like…y’know? So just as you’d practice safe sex, practice safe extraction. Here are my tips:
Wash your hands. I can’t stress this enough. It’s what makes or breaks a flawless extraction. Dirty hands can cause the extraction to get infected, red and looking 10 times worse than where you started. If you have longer nails, it is important to do a little extra thorough hand washing, or even use a nail brush just to be safe!
Create a barrier. After washing, consider using gloves, finger cots, or just wrapping your index fingers up with toilet paper. Just avoid Q-tips here, they tend to create too much redness around the blackhead or pimple.
Don’t buy the tools. It’s not worth it unless you’re trained. I’ve seen more damage than good come from them. I also think “extraction tools” just lead to sort of obsessive habits, so if we’re talking about pimple remember pimple patches are great for this type of situation– let the product work for YOU.
Wiggle the canyon, never pinch. Pinching can cause scar tissue and damage. For us browner folks, our skin already takes a long time to fully heal because of our melanin, so this could cause more slowdowns. Instead, take two fingers and push down into the canyon of skin around a pimple. Leveraging the skin will push the bacteria out. Of course, this is even easier post shower.
Use warm (not hot) water to help you. Steam is ideal for blackheads. However, I generally still don’t recommend extracting your own blackheads, leave that to me! If you have a blemish that has a fully developed head, use a hot compress and put pressure on it until you can wipe away the head. If the bacteria is visible then it should be a simple mission!
Know when to stop. Lookout for heat, size, depth and itchiness. If something feels a bit larger or hotter than usual, keep a close eye. Obviously, we all know some pimples are larger than others, but if the pimple is large and hot to the touch, I advise making an appointment with a medical professional or visiting an urgent care. For example, an ingrown hair follicle that turns into an infected follicle becomes a boil. These are extremely painful and need to be handled by a medical practitioner. They usually require a round of antibiotics to clear the infection.
Visit a professional. If you don’t have funds for a full facial treatment, find studios that will do an expedited extraction session for less money. Let them know you want to book an extraction session and see if they’ll do it. Consider gifting this to your partner too! Picking is such a hard habit to resist or break but I just always tell people that often times, we just make things worse and therefore things will look worse before they start to look better.
Purify in other ways. After you (and / or your partner) take a shower (together?), use a purifying masque and follow it up with a pimple patch or spot treatment before bed. Chances are pimples will decrease in size and inflammation overnight.
I also recommend thorough oil cleansing to help breakup sebaceous filaments along the nose and chin, as well as exfoliating toners or pads. I also highly recommend pimple patches instead of popping. Pimple patches are such a liberating tool – they really work and also relive the anxiety and shame.
Pore strips used to be my favorite in high school and I always secretly wished they hadn’t disappeared for so many years. Now Hero cosmetics has a whole range dedicated to patches, nose strips, even patches that help with post inflammatory hyperpigmentation – the technology is getting stronger! I’ve listed a few of my favorite patches and strips here.
Additionally, there are many sonic or electronic pore extractors like the Dermaflash Dermapore that are wonderful for blackheads. Prep your pores prior with a thorough cleanse and a warm shower. And of course, note that medium to light pressure is advised with any pore extractor.
Remember, blackheads are just part of being a human with skin. They are pores that get oxidized from the air. You can never fully avoid them. Try to channel the picking obsession into a healthy rotation of such purifying methods! I really think it’s about redirecting urge and habit into a healthier habit.
Find alternative ways to pursue the pleasure / pain binary. Whether you realize it or not, a lot of people who love squeezing and extracting each other are enjoying the element of controlled pain that comes with it. It can be kinky and hot and liberating. But your pores and skin are so delicate! Find other ways to explore these dynamics and sensations in your relationship, with clear communication and consent of course. No clue where to start? Stop by The Pleasure Chest (or another sexual health boutique near you) and ask the sales associates for help. Not saying you have to buy anything to play in this lane, but the people who work at these shops tend to be passionate, knowledgable, and eager to help.
Gourmand Gal Sightings:
Candy isn’t the only sweet treat to gift this V-day.
Current Faves:
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Wishing you lots of warm and loving energy this month 🌹💅🏽💗 Please continue to reach out for appointments at bookings@amezskin.com.
Oh….one last thing…to thank you for reading this month’s newsletter, we’ll be gifting one pair of beautiful Le Boudoir Los Angeles undies to a lucky reader! Le Boudoir is a woman-owned lingerie boutique in Echo Park, you’ve probably read or heard me mention them before. They feature many pretty pairs of panties (sizing runs s-l)
Comment your favorite piece of advice or part of this month’s newsletter below to enter! (We will enter all of your names into a randomized draw to pick a winner!) Please enter by Thursday, February 20th at 11:59 p.m. to participate.
Lots of love to my forever Valentine too!
the evolutionary urge to groom our mates ;)
lol of course my husband was over my shoulder reading my screen and saw the “Doing extractions on your significant other can often cause more harm than good.” Hahaha whooppps